finding the beauty in life

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I SURVIVED : ANXIETY, DEPRESSION & AGORAPHOBIA

    


     Look at the smile on the face in the above photo... I may seem like the average 24 year old happy and care free but, you would be surprised what I have survived. This smile belongs to a girl who once had to stay on the phone with her mother for eight hours for fear she would kill herself, this smile belongs to a girl who didn't leave her house for two months, this smile belongs to a girl with agoraphobia, anxiety, and manic depression. 

    My name is Nakesha and I am that girl. I have struggled with agoraphobia, anxiety, and manic depression since 2011. To be honest with you before my diagnosis when someone would tell me they were depressed I would automatically think " get over it", now everytime some one says that to me my heart breaks. On top of the counselling and medication, my life is a constant struggle between feeling worthless and that I deserve to die and feeling that maybe, just maybe I can beat the demons holding me. These diseases have affected me more then just mentally they have taken friendships, relationships, jobs, school and most importantly my freedom. In the last four years I have been unable to spend time away from my mother or grandfather for fear that without their presence I would harm myself. This has been my life for four years a girl who can not live without her mommy or grandpa and who hasn't spent a night away from family in four years . 

      But all that needs to change! In the year 2015 I want to be the girl who will travel to Europe with agoraphobia, anxiety, and manic depression and documents the struggles that I face on my road to regain my freedom. I want to show all the people that suffer from mental health disease that they can live a "normal" and fulfilling life. I want to show that despite the suicidal thoughts, the tears, and the loss. I am more then my diagnosis. Please help me be able to travel and at the same time raise mental health awareness and to show people that they no longer have to be ashamed. I will document my travels and struggles throughout my trip starting in Canada as I make my way to Italy and the United Kingdom.  

        In essence I am raising money to travel ! Currently I have had to quit school and forgo employment in order to be a caregiver to my grandfather who has just had surgery and is struggling with his own personal mental health issues. My current situation is extremely stressful as I am trying to overcome my own struggles and take care of myself while also trying to help someone else. Please help me to raise the funds to be able to travel so that documenting my journey will help spread mental health awareness. 

Please feel free to share my story and help me reach my goal! 


Xo Kesha 
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THE BIKINI ZONE- TENDSKIN REVIEW




To say that TendSkin gives a whole new meaning to the term fire crotch, would be the understatement of the year. Because let me tell you my crotch might as well have been on fire after I put that product on my bikini line. The product promises to fight razor bumps and in grown hairs two things that I suffer from in that area ( I know TMI but hey! where all ladies here). Lets just say that instead of being a glorious area of no razor bumps and ingrown hairs, that area of my body looks like someone literally tried to burn it down ( not that it was a forrest, cause I am not about that life but, you catch my drift). Anyways after trying that product five times, I was left with dry and flakey skin in those areas that leaves me feeling completely uncomfortable and has often been the cause of great pain in the last few weeks. To be fair the product does recommend that you try it  on a small area before using it all over the desired area but, geeze louise, I did try it out in a small area and after nothing happened I moved forward with applying it to the entire bikini area. BIG MISTAKE, HUGE! Maybe my skin is just really sensitive in that area or maybe I'm not the only one who has been burned by this product but, I do not recommend trying this, there are minimal results and the pain and discomfort is not worth the $20 dollars you spend. 

Have you ever tried this product? If so tell me about!! Also If you have some evil ingrown hairs and razor bumps PLEASE let me know what you do to get rid of them! 

xo KESHA
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Sunday, January 4, 2015

The Honest Post- New Years Resolution

Four years ago I lost my best friend, the person who loved me unconditionally and I can honestly say I have been lost ever since.  Over the past year despite my attempts to just "be happy", and not depressed I just haven't been able to do it. I've lost jobs and lost friendships and I can't even say it's because of depression that would just be the easy way out  because more then anything I know it's because I've lost myself. I never thought I would be the girl who would be scared to leave the house or who would willingly isolate herself but, that's who I've become. I'm taking the necessary steps to get better but I'm so tired of people telling me to "just" or its so "easy", because if ur was easy I would gladly chose to be happy instead of spending the majority of my time hiding away. My health but more importantly my mental health is my New Years resolution. 

xo Kesha
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